September 29, 2013

Dear Congress, You're fired.

At every job that I've ever worked at, getting drunk at work is grounds for termination. Not if you work for the US Congress.
If I were to play online gambling games on my cell phone while on the sales floor, I'd get fired. But that's totally fine if you're a US Senator.
Showing up late to work? YOU'RE FIRED.  Unless you're a congressperson, and then you don't have to show up to work to do your job (which, by the way, is pushing a button to vote on things).

So Congress, you want to shut down the government because you don't want to get along and make a compromise via the democratic process? YOU'RE FIRED.

Who do you work for? US.
Who pays for your COMPLETE health care package and ridiculous incomes? WE DO.
Who affords your vacations and meals? WE DO.

Congress, times are tough, and I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. I'll see you in the line at the unemployment office. Although since you repealed the rules about insider trading, and since most Congress people are millionaires, you probably have a little bit in savings that you can survive on. I hope you can make your net worth of between $1-to-$500 million last the two week probation period before you start receiving your unemployment checks...

based on a rant by my bandmate Dylan Verner